Daddy's Al

Daddy Al's General Store consistently has poor quality food at inflated prices. What's more, since they don't have much product turnover, their food is sometimes quite stale. Frankly, I don't know how they stay in business, except that the nearest actual grocery store is 2.5 miles away. Also, they are sometimes friendly. I don't know why I keep going back there. But after my last trip, Al, it's over between you and me. It's not the stale chips that did it—even though I discovered they had expired 3 months ago—because what shopkeeper doesn't accidentally make that mistake, leaving something out for an extra 100 days until it tastes like wood chips. No, it was the cheese. The "pepper jack" that was neither peppery nor jack: it was like sad American sliced cheese with little red and green dots in it. You can always tell a cheese is not top-notch when you put it in the toaster oven and instead of melting, it just kind of shrinks and curls up at the corners. Ruined my bagel, that cheese did.