Sunday Service. Though I have been doing this for quite a while now, I have never claimed to be an "expert" on food. After all, what is a critique, if not simply one persons opinion, limited by their personal taste, leanings and phobias? No, I just try to relay the experience, share both the joy and disappointment in equal measure, and leave it to you to take from it anything that resonates. As I once told my dear friend Don Cheedo, "Im just tryin to tell my story, one meal at a time."
Well, I have a new story. Its set on a Sunday afternoon, not a particularly beautiful one, weather wise. The ol' Fox; Mrs. McStyles had been goin on and on about some great deal to be had that she had picked up on from one of her bar patrons. I had some other ideas for brunch stewin on the McWishlist, but I gave that up without much of a struggle, as she seemed REALLY hyped about this place. Apparently, they have offer a three course brunch for $20. EXCEPT, if youre in the service industry its only 10. Yeah, $10. We put on our finest Sunday linens and hopped into the hooptie. This joint is waaaay up Merrimon, on the edge of north Asheville. A far cry from downtown and that whole Sunday scene and I admit; being able to park in front of the door of where I was going to be eating was not lost on me.
We entered and found ourselves in a classy joint, there werent but a handful of other diners and that suited us just fine. After we found a table to our liking, our server; a very friendly gal, brought us menus and asked us about libations. Ive often told the wife that she should get some bling to put around her neck on the sabbath. Like how Flavor-Flav has his clock, she could get 'MiMoSa' in big 24 karat lettering on a gold rope and hang it above her breasteses. Anyhow, thats what she was having. Much to my surprise, in addition to the standard ($4) mimosas and bloody marys ($5), they also offer a $5 manhattan. You know, something for a man. I laid it out to our gal and she got on top of it, taking along our choices for the first course as well. 'French toast, stuffed with bacon & brie in bourbon syrup, straddled with blackberries'. You might want to wipe the corner of your mouth after you read that a second time. Yes, that was the way I went. As for the McMisses, she went opposite field, bringing in a sunburst trout crepe w/ field greens, green olive relish and farm fresh yogurt tzatziki. After she delivered our cocktails our girl Friday returned with a "Basket of Goodies". What be this I say? I pull back the curtain and low and behold; a ramkin of butter to lather an assortment of mini stuffs. I tried a biscuit first. This is when I realized that the butter had cinnamon in it. I never got over it. Not when I split the muffin, not when I spread the scone, not even when I seized the cinnamon roll. Oops, did I just slip my finger in that butter? Better suck it off of there. At this; my finest moment, I looked up to find Friday standing there with our plates. I put the lid back on the cookie jar and took some serious interest in my manhattan. But only briefly, for then I saw my plate. The presentation was beautiful. We both looked up at each other and pretended that we loved each one another more than the food on our plates. Man, that brie was spillin out the sides of the toast, little chops of bacon locked in there; beautiful. I decided to put some in my mouth. It was for the best, the toast had this nice crunch up top and then you hit the melted goo and well, alright then. Through an exchange program I sampled the trout crepe. Though the fish is smoked it almost tasted like it was done sashimi style, it was soft and light. There were so many different flavors happening in that bite that all the lights on my switchboard blew up at once. Wow.
When Friday had dropped off this round of food, she's taken our order for the next. I have never ordered meatloaf in my life. When I think of Meatloaf an image of a hamburger shaped like a loaf of banana bread appears. Yet, I had a feeling. And I went with that feeling; tagging the Hickory Nut Gap smoked meatloaf with cheesy potatoes, pickled green beans and ketchup gravy as my next conquest. The wife didnt need to tell me what she was getting. As soon as I saw the words "Crab cake benedict" I knew which direction her fate was headed.
We had just wrapped up that first round and were sounding out our bellies for the long haul when the next course arrived. Again, wondrous presentation, particularly the benedict. We both just sat there looking at it, wishing we had brought the camera. In the end, she decided to eat it. I agreed that it was the right thing to do. This left me to my meatloaf. It was immediately clear that this was not my mothers meatloaf (god rest her soul). What struck me first was how airy it appeared, this was not the dense brick of my inner flickr catalog. Rather than using ground beef, what they appear to do here is chop up shredded beef and work with that. The results are mind numbing. You dip a little in the gravy, tack on a spot of potatoes and away you go. If I had a single complaint, its that I wouldve liked the potatoes to be a little creamier. But I dont have any complaints, so Ill just shut up. As for the other side, she was getting along just fine and had these observations to share; the English muffin at the bottom of her benedict was an unexpected treat. Most places that do a crabcake benedict opt not to include the muffin. So kudos on that. Unlike myself, she had a single complaint; her egg was hard poached, not soft. If Rooster Cackalack had been with us, and ordered this same dish, he would not have been happy, he likes that juice oozin into the mix. I offered her a kleenex but she had already moved on to the crabcake, which, personally, was the best Ive ever tasted. It was most certainly more crab than cake. It was crab for days. I pictured myself 50 pound lighter, tan, lying poolside with chestnut haired nymphs spooning bites of it into my mouth, a cool breeze running over me as their long manes swayed across my shoulders. Yeah, it was pretty damn good.
We sat there, in the afterglow, drinks in hand, replaying it in our minds as we waited for the finale; white chocolate creme brulees. Guess what?! Shocking news! The creme brulees were incredible. Brittle, glassy top giving way to cool chocolaty custard below. We made short order of them. I began laughing like you do when youve been sitting in the sun too long and the clouds begin to look like goldfish and you think of some inconsequential thing someone once said years before and suddenly its the funniest thing in the world, it nearly splits your side open. Thats what I did when the bill came. Before drinks, because of the discount, this meal was $20. For both of us. Obscene really, if you think about it. All I have to say is this; Next Sunday; dont walk; run. Tell your friends, tell the world. Simply amazing.
Grade: A (the flub with the egg is the ONLY thing holding it back from getting that +)
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